As you all know I recently attended my very first blog conference, Blog Her 2017. Shortly after, I had to take my first flight. I had to be back in NC for my summer internship by June 25th. This flight was scheduled for the 24th. For those of you who don’t know, I deal with anxiety so I was not looking forward to this flight at all. Everyone close to me kept telling me that I would be fine & that I was overreacting of course. I was flying with Delta Air Lines out of Orlando International Airport into RDU. Up until a few hours before the flight I thought positive thoughts and it was all good. I had to pep talk myself.
” Come on, Honey. You’ll love being above the clouds, you’ve always wanted to fly “
It was all good until I got to TSA and my mother couldn’t go any further, she got all emotional and started crying (she cries during moments where we part). She told me to call her when I got to the gate, right before boarding the plane, and again once I landed. From there I felt my anxiety rising. I kept thinking that my ears would hurt terribly because of all of the myths about how your ears may or may not pop & the thought of experiencing turbulence terrified me.
It was time to board, I took a deep breath and walked through the door into the jetway. Things were looking up until I got to the entrance of the actual plane. I could see the space between the jetway and the plane on the ground ( I honestly don’t know what prompted me to look down). I took another deep breath & boarded the plane. I was in a bit of shock once I started to head to my seat. The plane was a lot smaller than I expected & with that being said my claustrophobia kicked in. I don’t know why I expected a bigger plane for a flight that was only an hour and a half. I got to my seat, sat down, and tried to relax myself. On the outside, to many of the other passengers I probably looked fine but inside I was freaking out. Freaking myself out, that is. Once we started preparing for take off I turned on my music ( I listened to SZA’s Ctrl Album the whole ride). I used my mothers travel pillow like a stress ball to ease my nerves. I honestly watch too many movies because the scene from Final Destination where the breathing bags fall from the ceiling in the plane kept replaying in my head (Yeah, I know I have really bad nerves). During take off, I shut my eyes. I found it a little hard to breath. I clinched the travel pillow while controlling my breathing. Thankfully, my ears didn’t pop. I would sneak a peek every now & then. When I finally noticed we were above the clouds, my grip on the travel pillow loosened. I felt like I could breath again. I felt relieved. The view was absolutely amazing. After looking at the clouds I was able to truly relax for the first time since boarding the plane. Soon they turned off the seat belt sign & I grabbed my notebook so that I could write. At this point it felt therapeutic.
In no time we were preparing to land. The flight was much quicker than expected which made me kind of sad. I liked feeling like I was in my own little world, with no distractions or interruptions. Just me alone with my thoughts & my music. We landed quickly & safely. When I stood up my legs were asleep and it felt a little weird to walk.
Afterward, the whole thing was kind of funny to me. I asked myself multiple times what I was so afraid of because it was nothing like I imagined it to be. It was the total opposite really. I would have to say the worse part was take off. After I got past that everything else was a breeze. I’ll be flying again soon and I can’t wait.
Feel free to comment! Share your own experiences & thoughts. You can also visit my IG: @Sincerely.Honey. Until next time HoneyBees.